


Who I'm Supposed to Be

by ComradeCatra



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Compulsory Heterosexuality, F/F, Modern AU, Self-Discovery, She's wrong, Slow Burn, Trans Catra (She-Ra), adora thinks shes straight, comphet, compulsory cisgenderness, genderfluid Adora, late bloomer lesbian, nb adora
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29479446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComradeCatra/pseuds/ComradeCatra
Summary: Adora is someone who always manages to anticipate and exceed the expectations placed on her. It is second nature to her at this point. And that is what brought her to where she is today; in her last year of law school and engaged to the love of her life, Duncan. Everything is perfect, and yet Adora never stops feeling like something isn't quite right. She feels that she should be doing something different, something better.This feeling is highlighted by the reunion with her estranged best friend, Catra. Catra has changed a lot since they last spoke and being around her makes Adora feel both happy and uneasy.This is the story of Adora discovering her sexuality and questioning her gender later in life.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	Who I'm Supposed to Be

**Author's Note:**

> This is a modern AU that focuses on breaking free of Compulserary Cishetereosexuality. If you are unfamiliar with the concept of comphet and compcisness I have some resources linked in the bottom notes. In short, it’s the idea that we, due to our society and what we internalize, are compelled to participate in what is considered the default, being a cisgender hetereosexul individual. When someone is not those things it creates a conflict and we,in the best case, learn how to unlearn compcishet and be our true selves. In my case, I’m a lesbian trans woman. It took me a while to figure out both of those things about myself. I love how Catra and Adora’s story doesn’t involve relationships with men. But experiencing comp cishet and struggling to figure out one’s identity is really common which made me want to see how these characters would deal with it.  
> In this AU Adora believes she is a cisgender hetereosexual woman. To make it clear that I am not shipping Adora with a man, here is a Spoiler: Adora will end this fic realizing that they are non-binary lesbian and use they/them pronouns. There will be implied sex with a man but nothing explicit. Adora will be referred to with she/her pronouns and as a woman for a large part of this story. Adora does think of themself as a she/her woman and must figure out that those don’t fit them. I will make any intimacy with a man with *** before and after the scene so it can be skipped.

Adora was entranced with the woman in front of her in the grocery line for the self-checkouts. Or at least her back. More specifically, her clothes. Her curly brown hair was tied up in a ponytail. Her jean jacket was a riot of patches and painting. There were lots of band patches and floral hand embroidery. She recognized violets and lavender but was at a loss to what the other plants were. She saw there was more embroidery along the side of her jeans. Unable to help herself she tried to see past the end of her cart which eclipsed her view of the shorter woman’s legs. She leaned a little too far and pushed her cart forward. Just a bit, but that was enough. The woman yelped in surprise as the cart nudged her back. 

“Hey watch it!” She said and turned around.

Adora looked down and flushed. Fuck, she was not good with angry people. She kept herself still as the urge to shake out her nerves appeared. “Oh god I’m so sorry. I was distracted and –”

The woman cut her off.

“Adora?” 

Adora was startled. This lady knew her? Adora felt like she would have remembered her; she seemed pretty memorable, from behind at least. Adora looked up and froze.

“Catra?” Catra smirked. 

“Hey Adora.” 

“Holy shit Catra! It’s so good to see you. You look –” She paused to look Catra over. Catra eyes were the same as ever, a brilliant blue and gold, but the rest of her sure had changed. She, and she definitely was a she now, was around the same five and a half feet. Her eyeliner was a sharp catseye rather than the scene kid eyeliner she wore in highschool. Her lips were a deep crimson shade and she had what must have been a dozen earrings. The front of her jacket was just as filled with color and patches as the back. It hung open over a tank top that had lace bra straps peaking out. Her pants were high waisted and hugged her hips. Adora felt her face get even warmer and hoped it wasn’t as visible as it felt.

Catra shrugged.

“Yeah, guess I’m a girl now.”

“No – mean yes – but I was gonna say you look good!” Holy crap it was Catra. She was here. Adora thought she’d never see Catra again. Not after their last stupid argument the summer before her sophmore year of college. Catra had blocked her afterwards and that had been that. But now Catra was standing right in front of her. Adora felt her nerves rush up again and this time she couldn’t stop from wiggling her hands up and down in excitement. 

Catra reached a hand out past Adora’s cart and Adora immediately latched onto it with one of hers. She interlaced their fingers. Catra used to reach out like this whenever Adora felt too jittery to stop herself from moving. It helped her ground herself and had been especially helpful in school or around her foster mother, Hope. Not that either approved of hand holding but it was better than being admonished for something she couldn’t help.

Catra squeezed her hand then let go. Adora barely stopped herself from whining and her hands started moving again.

“Relax dork,” Catra said. “I’m just gonna check out. There’s a coffee shop at the other end. Meet there?”

Adora relaxed a bit and that was enough to force down the urge to move. She gripped her cart handle instead. Catra only had a basket with a handful of things so she was finished first. By the time Adora met her at the coffee shop, Catra had got a table and two cups of coffee.

“Ordering for me?” she asked with a grin. To her surprise, Catra blushed.

“Uh yeah sorry. I just kind of did it before I wondered if you changed your drink order. Or even were thirsty.”

“It’s the same.” Adora was quick to reassure her.

“Oh good...” Catra trailed off as Adora got settled in her seat 

“So, where do we even start? It’s been so long.” Adora said.

“8 years, yeah. I guess I’ll just get the big stuff out there. I’m trans, obviously. I actually made my legal name Catra so it’s not just my nickname anymore.”

“That’s so cool! I’m still just Adora.” Adora remembered how Catra had always hated her name back to when they first met in preschool. They gave each other nicknames instead, Catra for her and She-ra for Adora. Adora stopped using She-ra for everyone but Catra by middle school. 

Catra smiled at her fondly. “I see you’re still a goof.” 

“Jerk.” Adora stuck out her tongue at Catra. Catra laughed.

“Can I ask something?” Adora said, hesitantly. 

“Sure,” Catra replied. She drummed her fingers on her cup. “I might not answer if its dumb though.”

“That’s fair.” Adora took a steadying breath. “Did you being trans have to do with you ghosting me? I know we fought but did you think I wouldn’t be accepting?”

Catra winced. “Right to it huh? Well the short version is no, it didn’t have to do with my being trans. Long version I’m not gonna get into here. Medium version is that things kind of went to shit for me for a while.”

“So college sucked basically. Living with Weaver while trying to do school and work was just awful. I spiraled pretty hard and dropped out. Part of that spiral was cutting you out. I was a bad friend.” She ran her hand through her hair. “I know that’s not a very good answer but that’s what I have.”

Adora was conflicted. She hated knowing that Catra had gone through such a hard time. She also wanted the longer version. What was it that made her cut contact? Adora knew that when she had gone through her own hardships the first person she thought of turning to was Catra. And her not being there hurt. She can’t imagine what would have caused Catra not to come to her.

“Catra, I’m so sorry. I know that my leaving changed things between us–”

Catra cut her off. “Don’t be sorry. You did what was right for you and I had too much happening to deal with it healthily. What’d you do with that fancy degree anyways?”

Adora accepted the deflection. It was hard to catch up the contents of years in one conversation but they did their best. Adora spoke about all the friends she’d made in college; some of whom were her current roommates, Bow and Glimmer. She talked about law school and how nervous she was for her last year. She talked about her internship and how happy she was for it to be over the following week.

And she listened to Catra talk about her friends and her work as a self-taught coder. She felt a mix of sadness and joy sitting here, catching up with Catra. She mourned the time they had spent apart but she was so excited to be learning new things about her friend. To experience parts of Catra for the first time was a gift, something she thought she’d never get to do again. Before she knew it they were winding up. And she still hadn’t shared about Duncan, her fiance. For some reason she had held back. But now they were winding down and it would be weird if she never mentioned him and Catra found out later. 

“So I wasn’t sure how to mention this but um I’m engaged.”

Catra reached across the table and shoved her shoulder. “You’re fucking engaged!? That’s huge, ‘Dora. I can’t believe you didn’t lead with that.”

“There was so much to catch you up on! Geez.”

“Well...you gonna tell me about them?” Catra demanded. 

“His name’s Duncan."

“Like the donuts?” Catra joked.

“No relation,” Adora quipped back. Adora shared a bit more about him and his mustache which Adora endlessly teased him about. How they met in undergrad and both went to the same law school which led to him asking her out their first year. She brought up how proud she was of him with his internship with the public defender’s office.

“You know, that’s something I figured you would have gone with. You always were into protecting the innocent and all that,” Catra commented.

Adora shrugged. “Yeah, it’d be cool but Hope has really encouraged me to go into other areas.”

Catra scoffed. “You mean areas that will make lots of cash for you to spend on her.”

“Hey! She’s been really supportive of me and helped me get to where I am right now.”

Catra held up her hands in capitulation. “You know her best. I’m operating on some outdated information anyway. Maybe I’m projecting. I cut off Weaver completely.”   
Adora’s glare softened at that. 

“I’m glad that you did that. Weaver was always terrible to you. But Hope isn’t like that. She pushes me to be my best self and that means she’s harsh sometimes but she’s been a lot better since I’ve been in law school.”

“That’s good,” Catra said. “This has been really great but I’ve gotta head home. Here,” she held out her phone. “Why don’t you put in your number so we can pick this up again some other time?” They swiftly exchanged numbers.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to hang out until my internship is over.” Adora blanched. “I mean assuming you want to hang out again.”

Catra stood and stretched. Adora’s gaze followed the rise of her shirt. She looked away once she started to see Catra’s toned stomach.

“Of course I want to hang out again, dummy.” Then, softly, “I missed you.”

Adora beamed. “I missed you so much Catra.” They hugged. Catra fit right into Adora’s arms, her head resting on Adora’s shoulder. It felt like coming home.

_____

Adora felt like she was walking on clouds. She still couldn’t believe that she ran into Catra and that she didn’t hate Adora. That was her biggest fear and regret over the years. Her good mood was spilling out in a bit of a bounce to her step and an absent minded hum as she put away her groceries. 

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Duncan said as he came to help put away the groceries.

“I ran into a friend,” Adora explained. 

“Anyone we know?” Glimmer asked from the living room.

“I don’t know if you remember me mentioning my friend Catra? From high school.”

Duncan shook his head. Then Glimmer laughed. 

“Of course I remember. Isn’t that the jerk who wouldn’t talk to you sophomore year? That–”

“ _ She, _ ” Adora emphasized, “was going through some hard stuff back then. Like, yeah it sucked at for me at the time but it was really nice seeing her! We’re going to keep in touch.”

Glimmer hummed in displeasure. “I still think she’s a jerk for that. You were really messed up about it.”

Duncan piped up. “Well I’m glad it was nice to catch up. Sounds like you got some closure on everything.”

Adora was quiet for a moment. “Yeah, some closure but also a chance for something new if that makes sense?”

Duncan walked over and gave her a hug. She leaned into him. It was nice to have someone who she knew was there for her. 

“That definitely makes sense, honey.” Duncan said. “I don’t know what happened but it’s always good to get a second chance.”

The rest of the evening was quiet. By the time Bow got home from work, dinner was on the table. They all ate together before settling in for some Netflix. Adora’s good mood persisted the rest of the night right up until she fell asleep. She had Duncan wrapped around her, holding her loosely. Her last thought before she drifted off was the feel Catra’s arms around her as they hugged goodbye.

_____

“... and that’s the time that Scorpia and I were on a boat.”

They hadn’t had a chance to hang out again in person yet but they’d been talking and texting almost every day. Adora was enjoying learning about everything new in Catra’s life. She said as much.

“I really like this.”

“Really like what? Stories about me being miserable?”

“No, dummy. I like learning about you. The current you. Like, you’re the person who I knew best in the world, I knew everything about you, you know? But now there’s all this new stuff to hear about you. It’s just nice is all.”

“Okay now I’m curious. As the person who knew me best, who was past Catra?”

“What?”

“Come on, it’s like a snapshot of me. Like I feel like I’ve changed so much. But is core Catra still the same? Come on, tell me.”

“Okay, but you have to tell me what past Adora was like to you.”   
There was a pause and then, “Deal.”

“Hmm...okay to me you were super loyal, clever, caring...”

“Adora, you can’t only say good things. I mean, I know I’m great but still.”

“Okay you were, and are apparently, argumentative. Had issues with authority, a bit of a know it all. Mean to everyone who wasn’t me. You were literally the smartest person I knew. You worked super hard but hated to have people think you cared. You were also a huge softy but just for me.”

“Huh,” Catra was quiet so Adora prompted her.

“Now do me.”

“Okay, you were kind to literally everyone, loyal, fierce and determined whenever you got fixated on a goal. And like if you got fixated on something you’d ignore everything else but that thing which could be detremental as well as a positive. You were tough and the strongest person I knew. A goof, clumsy whenever you weren’t playing sports. Cocky but also humble. Should I go on?”

“Aww it’s almost like you liked me.”

“Dork. Anyway I gotta run. We’re still on for tomorrow?”

“Yup! I’m super excited for you to meet everyone!”

“Yeah! Have a good last day being an intern.”

Adora hung up. She could feel herself still grinning and couldn’t stop. Talking to Catra just felt good. And hearing what Catra thought about her back then had her feeling all bubbly. Duncan knocked then came into their bedroom. “Good talk?”

“Yeah!” Adora exclaimed. She summarized their conversation.

Duncan smiled. “I’m glad you’re having such a good time catching up.”

“Thanks, babe. And I’m super excited for you to meet her tomorrow.”   
“I’m excited to meet her. I feel like I already know her. You sure you don’t want me to pick you up from the internship? We could get dinner to celebrate your last day?”

Adora beamed at him. “That’s super sweet of you but I get done early remember? You’ll still be working when I get off.”

Duncan frowned and then shrugged. “That’s right. I guess we’ll just stick with you and Catra meeting us at the club?”

Duncan put his hands on Adora’s waist. “I’ve got to be honest, I’m almost jealous of Catra.”

Adora laughed and pulled back a little. “What? Why?”   
“Well it just feels like so much of your attention has been on her this week.” He pouted. “I feel a little left out so it’ll be nice to see who all the fuss is about.”

“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.” Adora said, pulling him in for a hug. He hugged her back. 

“It’s okay Ador-able, I know you’re just excited about her being back.”

***

Adora grinned up at him “Well maybe I can make it up to you. I have it on good authority that I’m very good at giving one thing all my attention.”

“Oh...”Duncan played coy. “And what would you have in mind?”

“This.” Adora pulled him down to the bed with her. They fell in a jumble of limbs and laughter which quickly turned to something else. 

Afterwards, they were cuddling, Duncan’s hands idly traced circles on Adora's hip and thighs. 

***

Adora’s mind kept getting pulled back to Catra’s descriptions of her. They still brought a smile to her face. 

“Hey Dunc?”   
“Hmm?”

“Can you describe me?”

“Huh?”

“When I was talking to Catra we ended up describing each other. Like as we thought of each other back then. Since we knew each other so well.”   
At the mention of Catra, Duncan frowned a little to Adora’s back. 

“It was neat to hear what she thought of me, you know. So could you describe me? I just thought it’d be neat to hear what the person who knows current-me thinks in comparison.”

“Okay, i think you’re sexy,” he paused to kiss the back of Adora’s neck .“You’re smart and determined and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

Adora frowned and felt a bit restless. As opposed to when Catra described her, which made her feel seen and happy, this filled her with something heavier that disquieted her. 

“Is that good or do you want me to keep going?” He kissed her shoulder. 

“No, that’s good.” Adora gently shrugged out of his embrace. Duncan smiled sleepily. “Bed time?” he asked. 

They both got ready for bed. Adora was quiet for the rest of the night until she fell asleep, weighed down by that heavy, unsettled feeling

_____

The next morning Adora couldn’t figure out what to wear. Figuring out her work clothes was difficult for some reason. She kept thinking about what Catra would think of her when Adora saw her after work. Catra was looking so cool now and she didn’t want Catra to think she was lame. She eventually settled for a pair of loose, cream-colored pants that she could dance in and a sapphire blue button down that she’d change out of.

But then the fit of her shirt down felt wrong. She groaned. Why was this so hard? She started packing her bag for her change of clothes for the club as a distraction. She picked a gold crop top that would fit with her pants. She packed a couple of sports bras too. She liked the stability they gave her when she danced. Actually, that might be nice now, she thought. She quickly changed and then checked out her reflection in the mirror. She nodded in satisfaction. Much better.

The day went by fast, no one expected much from her on her last day. She had to keep herself from running the short walk from the office. The firm she interned with was just a short walk away from Catra’s apartment building. Once she was there she couldn’t help herself from dashing up the stairs, two at a time. She reached the fifth floor slightly out of breath and quickly found Catra’s place. She knocked a couple of times and a moment later the door opened. It was Catra standing there in a comically oversized sweater. 

“Hi,” was all Adora could think to say.

Catra quirked a brow and leaned against the doorframe. “Did you run here?” 

“Just the stairs,” Adora said a little defensively. “It’s good cardio.”

“You’re a freak,” Catra smiled. “Come on in. I ordered some Thai for dinner, should be here soon.” Catra plopped on the couch as Adora looked around. The apartment was a little chaotic but in a homey way. There were random electric parts on the coffee table and tons of artwork and knick knacks adorning the walls.

Adora sat on the couch facing Catra. She was so happy she started flapping a little. Catra noticed and smiled at her. 

“What’s up?” she asked.

“Can I hug you?”

“Of course, dummy. Come here.” They hugged and Adora relaxed. 

“I still can’t believe I just ran into you at the grocery store,” Adora said as they parted.

“Ran into is right,” Catra teased. Adora shoved her and they both laughed. They chatted for a little bit about nothing much in particular. Catra opened up her liquor cabinet which more accurately was a bottle of vodka and some fruit juice. The food arrived and they ate and continued to chat. Scorpia and Entrapta both came in and out to grab food and chat. And to grab some of the scattered electronics in Entrapta’s case. Catra pulled out her phone while Scorpia and Adora talked about their respective workout routines. They finally ended the conversation with plans to workout together.

“Wow Adora, when did you start being such a gym rat?” Catra asked.

“Oh you know me, I just like to keep busy.” She had needed to keep active to stop from thinking about Catra after she went no contact. Adora had only stopped obsessing when she was exhausted and the gym was the perfect way to do that. She continued, 

“I just worked out a bunch in college and got hooked. So we should probably start to get ready.” Adora changed the subject.

“Cool, I’m gonna change and then do my makeup.”

“Oh can you do mine!” Adora asked.

“Hah I was going to ask if you still need help.”

Adora pouted a little. “You’re just better at it than I am. Glimmer usually helps me but she’s always a little heavy handed.”

“Well, we’ll keep it simple for you.” 

Adora beamed at her. “You’re the best.”

Catra peered at her. “Are you already drunk?” she asked.

“Psh what? No I’m not drunk. You’re just the best.” She burped. “Okay I’m a little drunk but not that bad. Just tipsy.”

“Okay drunko. Here, you can change in my room and I’ll change in the bathroom. Be out in a sec.” Adora followed Catra into her bedroom and looked around as Catra gathered up her outfit. There were a few piles of laundry in the corners of the room. Along with a cat tree and a desk strewn with office supplies and papers.

Adora just changed into her top. It was a slightly sheer gold crop top. It’d be close to opaque in the darker lighting of a club. She usually didn’t wear crop tops but Bow had convinced her ages ago to make it her dancing top. Her pants were flowy and she didn’t feel any need to change them. She looked around a bit more, picking up info about Catra’s current life. She was still messy. She also was still into music from the various band posters and the record player next to the bed. Adora pulled on her heeled boots to finish the look. They made her feel like a giant which was fun. They were just 3 inches but they were the extra push to put her above 6 feet tall. 

Adora was looking at the posters and art on the walls when a wolf whistle caught her attention. She turned around to see Catra stepping out of the bathroom. Adora felt her jaw drop a little as she saw Catra. Catra was dressing in artfully ripped stockings under a mini skirt which emphasized her slim, strong legs. She had on a maroon top with one black, long sleeve and the other shoulder bare and a cut-out on her chest.    
“Damn, Adora.” Catra walked over to her and looked Adora up and down. 

“I knew you worked out but fuck you’re ripped.” Catra’s hand brushed Adora’s arm, her nails scrapping a bit on Adora’s skin. 

“Do you have a six pack?” she asked, incredulously. Adora blushed as she felt Catra’s gaze on her abdomen. She scratched the back of her head, unconsciously raising her top. “Uh yeah. I like to work out.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Catra said. She gulped and tore her gaze to Adora’s face. 

“Okay. Let’s do your makeup. Are you really going to keep your hair in that ponytail? I swear you’ve been rocking that thing since the second grade.”

“Shut up. It works,” Adora retorted. Catra shrugged. 

“Whatever. It’s up to you.”

They settled in front of Catra’s bathroom vanity. Catra leaned in close and did her makeup. Catra’s perfume tickled her nose. It was hard to think with all her senses filled by Catra’s proximity. She closed her eyes and focused on breathing.

“And done.” Adora opened her eyes and saw Catra’s handiwork. She’d darkened Adora’s brows a little, done a subtle smokey eye with liner and that was it. She liked it. Catra was looking at her like an art critic examining a painting.

“It’ll do,” she finally declared. “I have some lip gloss or tinted chapstick if you want. But I don’t think you need anything dramatic.”

“Cool. Thanks, Cat.” Adora put on some lip gloss and popped her lips. She looked at her reflection and frowned. She looked good but also not right at the same time. Catra did her makeup perfectly and she looked great objectively but there was something off that she couldn’t put her finger on.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Catra asked. 

“Nothing, it’s fine.” Adora replied.

Catra wrinkled her brows in concern. “Is it the makeup? Cause I can redo it.”

“No! The makeup is great.” She sighed. “It’s my outfit. I don’t know if I like it.”

“Hmm...what about the shirt you were wearing?”

Adora shrugged. “I can try it but I thought it fit weird this morning.” Adora quickly changed while Catra politely turned her back. Adora groaned in frustration. Catra turned back around and looked her over.

“What’s the matter now?”

Adora gestured to herself. “See? The fit is all weird.”

“Weird how?”

“Like in the chest. It feels bunched or something. Ugh sometimes I wish I just didn’t have boobs so my shirts would fit right.”

Catra pursed her lips and was silent. She finally spoke “Do you want a binder? Scorpia has one that was too small for her but it’d probably fit you.”

Adora hesitated. She started to speak and stopped and started again. “I’m not trans though. Would that be shiity of me, to wear a binder when I’m cis?”

“Hey Adora,” Catra said and once she had Adora’s focus she reached out and flicked her forehead. “Stop overthinking this. A binder is just a tool for making your body do what you want. You want a flat chest for a few hours so you wear a binder. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It doesn’t need to be a trans-exclusive thing. Like, yeah binders are super important for trans masc people but if we made them trans exclusive that’d be bad too? Like trans people need them out but that doesn’t mean that you can’t use one. Hell, I wear one sometimes too.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, sometimes I feel like it so I do it. Nothing deep to it.”

“Oh.”

“And like it can be a deeper thing. Thinking about why I wanted to wear one helped me figure some stuff about myself and how I like to present. But for you I think less thinking is better. Don’t over analyze it. If you want to try it that’s enough of a reason to do it, you don’t need to justify how you feel about how you want your body to be.”

“Huh, I never really thought about it like that.”

Catra shrugged. “That line of thought was actually what made me start to come out. I think realizing that wanting something for myself and my body was reason enough to do it was a turning point for me. I think everyone should think about themselves and their presentation to try and figure out what they want and just do it, you know.”

Adora was a little dazed as Catra continued. 

“Like I thought that I was fake or something because we always talk about trans and gayness being intrinsic to a person. Which is true, for sure. But I felt because I didn’t have this certainty that meant I wasn’t trans. Like I know I have brown hair and that I hate brussel sprouts and a million other things about myself I know and I’m certain. But because I wasn’t certain about being a girl, I thought I wasn’t trans and to do trans things would be wrong. So thinking that me wanting to do something being a good enough reason to do it was a big deal for me. 

“And I’m not saying that it needs to be a big thing for you. Just that you wanting something is justification enough for it. You don’t have to meet some criteria to try out a binder.”

Catra let out a breath. “Fuck sorry I just kinda dumped all that on you. I just think about this shit a lot.”

Adora smiled softly. “I think that helped actually. I’ll try it! Why not, right?”

Catra smiled in return. “Right. I’ll go grab it.” Catra swept out of the room. Adora just kind of thought about everything Catra had just said. It was interesting and she was glad that Catra had felt comfortable enough to share with her.

Catra came back a moment later with the binder.

“I’m gonna do my makeup. It’ll be a bit so you can change.”

It didn’t take long for Adora to change. She instantly liked how the binder felt. Something about the pressure was comforting. She slipped on her button-down. She left it unbuttoned as she examined herself in the mirror. She liked how she looked with a flat chest. She liked it a lot. Rather than think about that more she buttoned her shirt, leaving the top few open. Catra was still in the bathroom so she just sat on the bed and looked at her phone. She felt nervous for some reason. Her leg bouncing as she tried to distract herself with the internet.

She succeeded well enough that she didn’t notice at first when Catra came out a half-hour later. 

“Hey, you okay?” Catra asked. Adora started; her phone flew out of her hands. Thankfully, it landed on a pile of laundry. Catra laughed, a sound that had Adora smiling despite her embarrassment. Adora stood and Catra looked up at her, tears in her eyes. 

“Fuck, I can’t believe I missed you being such a klutz.” Catra looked over Adora who stood there nervously. 

“Hey, come here.” Catra held out a hand and Adora put hers in it. Catra took her arm and rolled up the sleeve and then repeated the act on the other arm. Her fingers ghosted over Adora’s forearm, raising goosebumps.

“Perfect.” She declared looking up at Adora. 

“Yeah?” Adora asked hopefully.

“Yeah.” Catra confirmed. “You look good. You’re gonna sweep Duncan off his feet. “ She said as she stepped back. Right, Duncan. Adora felt a mental jolt. She had completely forgotten that Duncan, not to mention Bow and Glimmer would be there. It was just her and Catra in her head right then. Adora chuckled.

“Well, I don’t know about that,” she said. 

“Sure you will,” Catra said confidently. “Now come on prince charming, our uber awaits.”

_____

They got to the club, The Crimson Waste, before the rest of the group. They cut right past the line.

“I can’t believe you got us on the vip list,” Adora said to Catra as they got inside. 

“Benefits of being buds with the DJ. Plus Double Trouble owed me one. Usually I’m just on the list but I figured we deserved something fancier to celebrate you, Mr big-shot lawyer.”

They got drinks and sat to wait for everyone else. Catra finished her drink.

“Your friends are late, Adora.”

“Yeah sorry. That’s probably Glimmer. She takes forever to get ready.”

Catra was swaying in place to the rhythm of the song. “I always like the music here,” she commented. “DT has the best mixes. What kind of stuff do you like these days?”

“To be honest I’m still just listening to the stuff you turned me on to in high school.”

Catra laughed. “You’re kidding? All that emo stuff?”

Adora shrugged and grinned a little. “Hey, I like it.”

“I’ll make you a playlist. Get you up to date.” She stood up. “Now come on, let’s dance already.” 

Catra held out her hand. Adora took it and followed. 

“Remember,” Catra said as they strode towards the dance floor, her hand trailing backwards, pulling Adora along. Adora had to bend forward to hear her better. “You’ll run out of breath faster so take breaks when you need to. And drink lots of water.”

“Yes ma’am.” Adora practically shouted. Catra leveled her a look. Then cracked a grin. “Well, come on.” They claimed a spot on the dance floor. Adora rarely had issues with rude guys on the dance floor. Her height and muscles usually intimidated guys on the rare occasion that she wasn’t dancing with Duncan. 

It didn’t seem like her intimidation factor was enough to shield Catra as well. After the third time some guy tried to grind on her Adora took action and maneuvered herself so she was back and to the side of Catra. Catra could still keep Adora in her field of view but wouldn’t have to worry about someone grinding on her. The floor started to get more crowded until Adora was dancing less than an arm’s length behind Catra. She was in awe of how good of a dancer Catra was. Catra’s lithe body was moving to the beat, her hips swayed enticingly. Like an out of body experience, Adora watched her hands reach forward to touch Catra’s hips. Catra looked over her shoulder, up at Adora. She winked and went back to dancing, a bit more energetically. Adora’s mouth was dry. She felt like she had just run a marathon, which was probably due to the binder. No other reason. Then she caught a glimpse of someone very shiny and purple. She tapped Catra’s back. 

“I think my friends are here.” Adora was nervous. She didn’t know why. This was just her friends meeting Catra. No big deal. Except it was. She wanted them to like her as much as Adora did. Catra nodded and started moving forward. Her hand reaching back for Adora and Adora grabbed it obligingly. They reached the edge of the dance floor. Adora checked her phone and saw that the group had grabbed one of the tables in the sitting area. She relayed the info to Catra. 

“Cool, I could probably use a break anyway. I’m gonna grab some water, want one?”

“Please,” Adora nodded. Adora found Glimmer without too much trouble and the accompanying Duncan and Bow. 

“So that was Catra?” Glimmer asked. She had seen them coming off the dance floor. Glimmer hadn’t warmed up to the concept of Catra being back in Adora’s life. She was still holding onto a grudge for how Adora had been after Catra cut contact even though Adora had repeatedly told her it was fine.

“Yup,” Adora nodded. “That’s her. Be nice okay?”

“We’ll see. I still don’t know what to think about her but damn she’s hot.”

Adora sputtered. “Excuse me?”

“Bow, back me up here.”

Bow nodded. “I can officially verify that Catra is hot.”

“Eh, I guess she’s pretty.” Duncan stated. “But she doesn’t hold a candle to my Ador-able.” He placed his arm around her waist and squeezed.

“Thanks hun,” Adora weakly smiled. “I don’t think it’s a comparison of who’s hottest though.”

“Which hot people are we comparing?” Catra asked as she sat down to join them. She slid a glass of water to Adora

“What? We weren’t, would never compare people like that. That’d be objectifying.” Adora said.

“Relax Adora. People watching is half the fun of going out.” Catra looked to Duncan at Adoras side. “Hey, you must be Duncan, nice to meet you.” She nodded at him. “And Bow and Glitter?”

“That’s Glimmer,” Glimmer corrected.

“Oh my bad,” Catra said with a smirk, clearly unapologetic. Adora cut in to forestall Glimmer erupting. “Catra, stop being a brat,” she said.

“Oh you have no idea how big of a  _ brat  _ Kitten is.” An androgenous blond dressed in a shiny green outfit slid in next to Catra. Catra glared at them. “Don’t be a bitch, DT. Also, shouldn’t you be working right now?'' she asked pointedly. 

“Aw kitten, it’s nice to know you care. Tung Lashor has this shift, I’m on later.” Adora bristled at the newcomer. She just didn’t like them. Who were they to call Catra some pet name?

“I know Catra pretty well,” Adora said, feeling defensive for some reason.

They smirked and replied “Oh I’m sure you do, handsome.”

Catra turned back to the group. “Guys, this is Double Trouble. They’re the DJ here. Or they are when they’re not annoying me.”

“Kitten, you love it,” DT said and nudged Catra. “Now are you going to sit here all night or are we dancing.” Catra looked back to the table and asked, “You all coming?” DT and her got up. 

Bow and Glimmer followed. Adora shook her head. 

“I think I need to sit a bit more but I can watch everyone’s stuff.”

“I’ll stay with you then,” Duncan said, smiling at Adora. Catra looked at Adora with a bit of concern.

“Yeah, that’s probably smart. You doing okay?”

“I’m fine! Just need to regroup a little.” Adora assured her.

“You sure Adora?” Glimmer asked. “We’re supposed to be celebrating you”

“Well then you can buy my drinks when you get back,” Adora cheekily replied.

“Fine, but then you’re dancing.”

“Sure thing,” Adora said back.

Catra and the rest went back out to the dance floor. Duncan squeezed her waist gently. Adora leaned into him, knowing that was what he was encouraging. He felt solid and comforting.

“Everything okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine,” Adora replied. “Catra lent me a binder and it just made me get worn out more easily.”   
“Huh. I didn’t know that was something you were interested in.”

“I didn’t either. Just felt like trying it I guess.”

“Cool,” Duncan replied. “Are you liking it?”

“Yeah it’s different but good. Do you mind if we just sit for a bit, hun?”

“Sure thing, babe.” He kissed the top of her head. 

They shifted so they both could watch the dance floor. Adora focused on their small group of friends. Catra danced with Glimmer for a bit until Glimmer finally relaxed around her and cracked a grin. Then she switched to dance with DT, rather familiarly to be honest. Adora stood up. 

“I think I’m good,” she said. “Let’s dance!” 

They went out and joined the group. Adora stuck to Catra. She didn’t want a repeat of all those creeps who tried to grind on her, is what she told herself. DT rolled their eyes and moved away to dance with the others. Every now and then they would stop to refill their drinks and chat but the night was mostly spent dancing with Catra. There were times when Adora switched over to dance with Duncan; she didn’t want him to feel left out. During those times she kept her eyes on Catra and it felt like Catra was similarly keeping her in view.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm at writing these notes but here it goes. This was chapter one of my comphet au. Below I've linked the Lesbian Masterdoc which is a document about compulsory heterosexuality as it impacts lesbians. It's a good starter resource for comp het. 
> 
> I'm not completely sure on what my update schedule will look like, I'm guessing about once a month? It's hard to tell as I'm going back to college right now and my health is a rollercoaster so I guess we'll see. 
> 
> Come find me on twitter @ComradeOoze. I'm always happy to chat about she ra or comp het or anything really.
> 
> And I'd like to give a big thanks to Lologoblens for beta'ing this for me. I was pretty nervous about this story and their feedback definitely helped! If you haven't read their works somehow you absolutely should (Stars and Mark my words are my favs but all their stuff is great!)
> 
> Lesbian masterdoc  
> https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vT3f5IIzt5PG-M7G9_Z-gjY4gZaiUneTdMlYrFAcdBGcJo0-N-RDQcj2JfxOaBTxKa6J_DiDQNgqVpg/pub


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